Just for Fun- Mail Theft Gets Personal

Woman reports birthday cards stolen

While browsing Criggo, a weblog that reports funny or strange newspaper messages, I found this Crime Brief:

“A woman […] reported Oct. 15 that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends.”

This is amusing, because it obviously begs the question of whether this woman’s so-called “friends” actually sent her birthday cards. Of course, this woman thought they had (hence the filing of a police report). But I can’t help but think that the police officer who handled this case was probably skeptical.

Let’s think about this: A woman’s friends said they sent her birthday cards. She doesn’t get them. The logical assumption, then, is that the cards must have been stolen from her mailbox.

Of course, there is another possibility to consider. Maybe, Miss Birthday Girl actually has some bad (lying) friends. And while nobody wants to accept that their friends suck, the possibility nevertheless exists. The problem, however, is Miss Birthday Girl has no way of knowing whether (a) her mail was stolen; or (b) she should find some new friends.

We can’t help but think that if she had a Mail Boss locking security mailbox (in which her mail—alleged birthday cards included—would have been secure until she retrieved it), she would have the solution to her problem in the form of (a) heart-felt Hallmark mementos; or (b) a reality check.

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